More than 500 people turned out to watch vehicular carnage during the Haines Stampede Rodeo's annual demolition derby Saturday, Aug. 5, 2023.

HAINES — The beer was flowing.The cars? Crashing.

The annual Haines Stampede demolition derby brought more than 500 people to the rodeo grounds Saturday evening, Aug. 5, excitedly awaiting vehicular carnage.

Whoever came up with the idea to turn car wrecks into a spectator sport deserves a medal.

As someone who’s never been to a demolition derby before, I expected a slightly more complex game. I don’t know why — I just thought there’d be more parameters.

The drivers brought their cars from all over the Pacific Northwest. Someone even came from the far east side of Idaho. I have to wonder what the mentality is behind bringing a car hundreds of miles to a derby only to destroy it.

Although there is something respectable about putting love and passion into a custom-made car and then obliterating it in the span of two hours.

It could not have been more entertaining.

Now it isn’t about whose car exits the ring with the least amount of damage, it’s just whose car can keep functioning. It’s less about who wins and more about who loses the least.

Every time a driver revved the engine to send the car careening toward another vehicle, anticipation would build throughout the stadium. The seconds immediately folwlowing a crash, cheer filled the rodeo grounds.

And oh, were there crashes.

Toward the end of each round, some cars began to smoke from their engines, others had wheels that were pointed at each other or flat, and another had its front windshield covered by scraps of metal.

One of the more impressive parts of the whole event was how quickly drivers repaired their cars for each round. I don’t know what kind of mechanics they have at the rodeo grounds, but they managed to get a silver sedan to drive while it was missing what seemed like half the car.

While the cars were being repaired in between rounds, adults and kids raced their ATVs and dirt bikes in a figure-8 pattern. This was shortly followed up by two porta-potties being swiftly towed around the rodeo by four-wheelers. Even in intermission, the derby was the place to be.

No event has ever made me feel such pride in my homeland. I implore any American who has not been to a demolition derby to go and experience what can only be described as one of the great American pastimes.

A big shoutout to Alan Elsberry, who provided my tickets and bought me a couple of cold ones.

“I implore any American who has not been to a demolition derby to go and experience what can only be described as one of the great American pastimes.”

First heat

1st: Car 666, Trinden Starr, Baker City, $1,000

2nd: Car 419, Tim Starr, Baker City, $500

Second heat

1st: Car 2013, Bobby Merritt, Baker City, $1,000

2nd: Car 612, Justin Prevo, Sumpter, $50

Final heat

1st: Car 88, Mile Patterson, Prairie City, $2,500

2nd: Car 2014, Bobby Merritt, Baker City, $1,500

3rd: Car 66, Steve Patterson, Prairie City, $1,000

Barrel race, youth

1st: Kane Hellberg, Baker City

Barrel race, adult

1st: Dusty Glock, Baker City

Cowhide race

1st: Justin and Cooper Bain, Baker City